Moved.

Hey peoples.

I've relocated to the following address:

http://www.aliterati.com

See you there :)

In session.

I've begun comedy writing classes back at good ol' RMIT and I think I'm making strides. Skinny, almost invinsible-looking strides but I'm keepin' on. The class is learning of the fundamental "rules" of joke writing and the benefits of having this innate sense to instigate laughter amongst a person/people. I was sold immediately when I knew my teacher was going to be Tim Ferguson aka Mr. Toothbrush. 15 years on and he still looks like the man of wonder. Not one hair displaced.

It'll take a great deal of paving and crafting to get this right, and I will not be phased by the quick-wit and talent of the bunch I'm currently working with in this endeavour of comedy - for me it'll just take longer to handle. That's what she said.

"Quote for your day"

"I'm Asian because I'm shorter than Grant Denyer"

Glorious start to the P-Dog's year.

I am living proof that even losers can smile from time-to-time. I won this whole thing, yo.

They did get my surname wrong though.

2010.

You know what, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that I will never be a man of consistency. I try my utter best to channel inspired musings and moments through this portal of cyber-existence but to no avail. I am a person of peaks and troughs, never one to stay the same for no longer than the life of full-creamed milk before it expires into thickly, vomit-inducing proportions. Gosh, even thinking about that evokes my breakfast to resurface.

The year is 2010 - which is basically the year my life takes the turn into career-blooming bliss. Not to say that my '09 wasn't completely counter-productive (recounting the times that arose of when I flexed my artistic-muscle in the screen production cycle somewhere, all of which inevitably lead to my 2-month lunch breaks) and my spirit has certainly undergone a transformation of formidable growth and colour. Before 2010 rose above the horizon, I was situated in green au-natural Melbourne's South, collecting the calm serenity unto myself and reminiscing on my adventurous '09. Many things changed in my life (for the good, for the way bad) over the course and it's all boiled down to this current day. A day that I say, "Hello life," instead of "Hello Centrelink."

As proof of this new lease in my life, I have been steadily working at the Australian Open, as a 'media intranet officer,' (I know, a real job with a REAL title) for just about 2.5 weeks now. Takes some hard-work, focus, and an extremely-friendly/tolerant mindset but once that's all achieved, you're pretty much set for greatness. I've gelled with quite an awesome bunch of folks too (some hailing from the doldrums of RMIT to which I say EY-OOOOO) and I feel like I'm at school again hanging with old friends - so overall, I'm pretty sure that they like me as a person. I am funny after all.

By the way, I'm currently viewing the match between Jie Zheng and Maria Kirilenko (females) and I will go on record to say that it seems a little one-sided with the point corrections. Some may say that Mr. Hawk-eye is being a subtle racist. Between the Chinese woman and the Russian woman, he always seems to be rooting for the hot one, who coincidentally happens to be the Russian. Dodgy....

Douche of the Day

Douche: David Rowntree
Age: 19
Reason: He's a teenage criminal with a staggering 69 offences against his name, one of which includes the burning-down of a house to cover his fingerprints.


During the stages of teenhood, it is one thing to act out when life doesn't agree with you but it's definitely another thing when you decide to endanger the public - in 69 different ways. Technology is there to lend a helping hand when you're frustrated (computers, ipods, playstations, all that shit), yet for this moron the only way to gratify his urges is to break into a safe and steal some poor guy's coin collection. May I suggest a Ralph/Zoo magazine? After all, you are still developing into a functional adult and frankly, 69 isn't a coincidence.

5 things that happen...when living with females.

There are a flurry of reasons as to why I find it quintessential that your fellow room-bumping residents be of the female persuasion (like what not to look for in a potential female love interest) yet there are some discrepancies in that area because I at times there are things that happen beyond your control (for better but to a larger degree, worse) and I do feel like I'm slowly drowning in a pool of estrogen and nobody can save me. So in my bid to help my male readers (and possibly save them), I will impart some wisdom on you in relation to living with the (cool) female.

1. They unconsciously create artistic masterpieces using only their worn undergarments on a floorboard canvas (it can also be a carpet canvas).

2. When taking a shower, you have 10 different bottles of shampoo to choose from, yet there are ZERO bottles of conditioner.

3. This one is open to debate but in my experience they tend to cook more (something about maternal instinct).

4. They are more open to you to the point of no shame (for instance they think it's OK that they fart in front of you not knowing that that is all you'll be thinking about for the rest of the night).

5. They are usually the ones to tell you that you appear ugly and hence need to change.

;)